Where do we go from here?

Where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?
The battle's done
And we kind of won
So we sound our victory cheer
Where do we go from here?

Why is the path unclear?
When we know home is near
Understand
We'll go hand in hand
But we'll walk alone in fear
Tell me
Where do we go from here?

When does the end appear?
When do the trumpets cheer?
The curtains closed
On a kiss God knows
We can tell the end is near
Where do we go from here?
"Where do we go from here?" - From "Once More, with Feeling" - Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Things have changed.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Time is relative, to the observer, science says, and Albert Einstein once postulated that a person traveling at the speed of light in space would age slower than a stationary person on Earth-that-was. That's kinda relevant in the 'Verse, what with space travel being pretty common out here.

I don't feel like I've changed at all, but my world has.

So where do we go from here?

Seana's world and life kept on going without me while I was off working with Uncle Elsoph. All the stuff with Lily, Aurora and her job, it all kept going. I didn't have much of a life in the core, didn't socialize, didn't meet people, it was all work, work, work, 'cos I knew my "real life" would be waiting for me back home.

Except it wasn't. Hell, the rock I lived on doesn't even exist anymore. A lot of folks, good friends, chosen family are gone, spread to the four winds or worse. The few that remain, well, are either playing the same worn-out record of their lives, never making any progress. I suppose maybe I'm one of them.

Seana's off doing her thing most days, and I can't find people to relate to. I'm even having a hard time relating to her. I worry I was gone so long that she's moved on, the spark is gone. I don't think she'd ever stop loving me, or fall out of love, but I think we've moved past where we work together as a partnership anymore. She seems to have made connections with other folks, even a man or two.

I just don't feel like this is "home" anymore. My "home" doesn't even exist. It's been exploded into rubble.

I still love Seana more than anything, and it kills me that I feel like I screwed up our relationship by going away. Seana showed me that I wasn't doomed to tragic failures of relationships like I'd had back on the Raven; but even this one apparently couldn't last, although it lasted a lot longer than I probably deserved.

So where do I go from here? I don't know. I don't think I have any real loose ends here to worry about. I know Elsoph would always welcome me back working for him, but I don't know if it's appropriate to leave one's wife and still be attached to her family. Maybe I'll just find another ship and roam around the Rim like I used to.

I suppose in some ways it's ironic, but I know how much she loved them, so I'll leave her a little note.

Time has changed us much

I no longer have a home

Into the sunset