Time heals all wounds, or so they say.. I dunno about healing, but change, definitely.
I've spent a lot of time out in the wastes over the last few months, only coming back to Blackburne on occasion here and there to check on folks and make sure everyone's okay, and of course, to drop off loads of salvage.
Well, I have a reason to stay in Blackburne again. Somehow, I don't wanna know how, don't know the details.. but Nack managed to acquire a Firefly. Yes, a Firefly. He's named her the Osprey II after his previous ship.. but it's an honest to god Firefly. He convinced me to help put her back together and get her running ("Convince" me.. *snortle* Like he could've kept me away!)
So.. A big piece of my life that was missing since I left the Raven has returned. Granted she's not the Raven, obviously.. but this one's just as pretty as Raven was, if not prettier, and I can hear her voice calling to me, telling me she needs me. I'll be staying in town now I think, instead of wandering the wastes looking for something I can't find.
Travelling the wastes affects you, as anyone he's witnessed any of the attacks by the Wasteland Raiders will tell you, or seen Anon's reactions to folks. Supposedly there's radiation out there, and bad stuff in the food and water. I've never so much noticed, myself, other than I seem to be a lot stronger than I used to be, as evidenced by everyone who seems amazed at me swinging my giant salvage hammer around.
Well, apparently the wastes can change you when you're not lookin'. Folks almost didn't recognize me when I got back this time. One time I came back from the wastes covered in a full body set of tattoos of gears, and I didn't know where they came from or how I got 'em, I just kinda felt like they'd always been there. This time, they tell me that I'm shorter than they remember, my hair and eyes are different, and I'm bigger than I used to be. I could understand gaining weight, I guess.. but getting shorter? I dunno.. maybe I'm changing or mutating from living on this rock and going out into the wastes.. Sometimes I even feel like I've got a long tail and animal ears!
I've seen myself in the mirror, and I have to admit, I think they might be right. I don't really remember so much or see much difference, but there's a hint or a tickle in the back of my mind that says they're right.
But y'know something? I like my new look. I feel better about myself than I have in a long time, and I think I look pretty damn sexy this way. I feel good, I'm back among friends and family, those that are still here.. and I don't wanna leave, ever again.
I miss a lot of folks, though. X0X0's missing, presumed dead, Shepherd bought it a while back, and now I hear tell that Imrhien's marriage went South, Hale's moon is having hard times, and she's left Blackburne to go retreat and meditate at a Monastery somewhere. One thing about Blackburne I've come to expect -- folks come, folks go. Some ship in with the freelancers, others ship out, and some just plain out disappear.
Fortunately, we got some hardy folks that seem to be able to survive and thrive on our little world; Folks like me, like Chol and Amy, and Nack and Lauralai and Lorie.. people who are making lives for themselves here, finding love and happiness and family despite the hardships we face.
I have a life here too. It's still somewhat of a lonely life, a solitary one.. but I have friends. I have chosen family. A wise man once said that No man is a failure who has friends. I like that. I may be single, I may not get to snuggle up next to a body at night, or have a fun romp in the bunks.. but there's always new folks wandering in those doors.
In the meantime, I'm gonna have fun dancing and playing music and fixing up this new ship of mine until that magical someone comes waltzing in through that door. I have some folks I'd like it to be, but you never really can tell.
Anyways.. if you're ever on Blackburne, stop on by Firefly's and say hello! I'll be at the bar or the DJ booth or just dancing away, and the first drink's on me!
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