Premature..

Cortex Entry 12-25-08

Okay, so maybe I spoke too soon.. was a bit premature in my rambling and emo-ness..

Chol wanted to take my hammer and knock some sense into me. Ended up he didn't need to..

Call it a Holiday Miracle, call it hormonal chemistry fixing itself, call it whatever you want.. but I was able to get my head sorted out and straight without having to run away.

I found my Holiday spirit last night. That hasn't happened in a looong time. And I was able to share that with a lot of folks at the bar. And I'm glad for that.

Maybe I need to let Chol have the right to smack me in the head in the future if I get like that.. He used to be really good at that when I was still new at Firefly's and recovering..

In the meantime, though.. Happy Holidays to one and all!

Retreat and regroup

Cortex Diary, Dec. 23

Something's wrong with me.

I don't know what it is.. but something's definitely wrong. Everything feels wrong. Nothing makes sense in my head.

I feel alone. Even when I'm with everyone at the bar, I feel alone. I feel invisible and unnoticed and unloved and undesirable and just not as good as everyone else. And I know that's not true, but I can't stop feeling it.

I said I wasn't gonna go back out to the wastes anymore.. but I don't know if I can keep this up.. don't know if I can continue to pretend like I'm not hurting. Can't keep pretending to be normal. I'm not normal.

I wonder if I need time away. Maybe head out to the wastes again after the show. Or maybe just lock myself up in the workshop for a while, work on some projects I've been putting off. Just can't keep being around everyone else for a while. Not while they all seem to be having okay lives and I have to keep pretending like mine isn't a pitiful lonely existence.

Maybe Shen wasn't the one who should've fallen on a sword.

Worse still is seeing everyone else -- part of me wants to end it all and be done with it.. and part of me just feels frustration and rage and wants to take it out on all of them. Sometimes feel like I'm gonna start randomly shooting folks 'cos I can't stand to see everyone so gorram cheerful and happy and lovey-dovey. I want to scream.

God.. Buddha.. Whatever.. Something, show me the way. Show me the light. Send me an Angel. Help me, please. Or just leave me alone to die.

Some Christmas Amusement for Firefly's from my Demented Brain..

A visit from St. Nackolas.. (and some Xmas Reavers..)


'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the bar,
Nothing was stirring, not even Nack's car.
The tip jars were hung by the old truck with care,
In hopes that St. Nackolas soon would be there;
The dancers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of lingerie danced in their heads;
And me in my headphones, I gave Laur a glance,
We'd just settled down for a Firefly's Dance,
When out on the porch there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the booth to see what was the matter.
Away to the window Immy flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen dust
Gave the lustre of decay to snow and to rust,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a dirt-ridin' Jeep, trying to steer!
With a little old driver, so lively and stacked,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nack.
More rapid than Lindens his Militia they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Leetie! now, Sabby! now, Immy and Meyers!
On, Cholgosh! on Lorie! , watch out for the fires!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the bar!
Now fire away! fire away! Reavers ain't far!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the porch-top the Militia they flew,
With the guns full of ammo, and St. Nackolas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the top
The screaming and ranting, Oh God, make it stop!
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down into the bunker Nack came with a bound.
He was dressed all in leather, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of guns he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a mercenary just waiting to snap.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his weapons how shiny!
His boots they were spiky, his 'leet not at all whiny!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a sneer,
And the lift of his brow, whch was really quite queer;
The stump of an arm he held tight in his hand,
And the carnage around him, boy it was grand;
He had a broad face and a .357,
That was guaranteed to take some reavers to heaven.
He was stacked and built, a right jolly old cuss,
And I felt better when I saw him, like the rest of us;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know the reavers were dead;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
No luck for the reavers, I thought with a snerk,
And laying his guns on the counter with care,
And giving a nod, we could do nothing but stare;
He sprang to the Mule, to the Militia gave a yell,
And away we all flew like a bat outta hell.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he ran out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, Good Killing Tonight!"

I'm just a misfit..

From one of my all time Earth-That-Was books I came across.. VURT by Jeff Noon:

GAME CAT

Awake, you know that dreams exist. Inside a dream you think the dream is reality. Inside a dream you have no knowledge of the waking world.
It is the same with Vurt. In the real world we know that Vurt exists. Inside the Vurt we think that Vurt is reality. You have no knowledge of the real world.

THE HAUNTING. This is the bitch incarnate. Once that ghost has got hold of you, you just gotta go with her. Back to life, back to the boredom. That's how you feel, right? Except that the Haunting ins't a bad thing. What? What's that the Cat's Saying? Haunting isn't bad? Man, the Cat's losing it! Listen up, kittlings.

Only a chosen few get the Haunting. They are the edge riders. Those strange people who can't make their minds up; just what am I? This is their question. Vurt or real? The Haunted are of both worlds; they flicker between the two, like fire flies. What are they? Insect or flame? Both! Believe it. The Haunted are special. They just don't know it yet. The Cat's advice to them; resist the temptation; don't jerk out. Jerking out is giving in. Giving up. Giving up on your true vocation.

The Haunting is calling you; come up, come up! Let me take you higher. The Vurt wants you.

The Cat wants you.

That's how I feel most of the time. Trapped between two worlds. Not sure where I belong or who I am or where I fit in. Or who I fit with.

Emotions, weakness, failure, terror, loss, loneliness..

Dear Cortex Diary Thingie,

Tonight was not a good night. I stopped in the bar briefly, and saw Chol outside on the porch. Just as I headed over for a relaxing sit-down, poor Jayne started twitching, and before long, Chol had a call out on the cortex for the Militia 'cos it looked like trouble would be forthcoming.

Normally I'm one of the first to pick up a gun or hammer and head out to do my part to help out the town.. But tonight, I couldn't. My emotions are all messed up lately, and everything's so different and strange lately. I know it's close to the holidays, too, and that never helps. Been thinking about the past a lot lately. Haven't had anyone to cuddle for a while..

So, I failed tonight. It was like the first time the reavers attacked Washtown. I couldn't do anything. I was terrified, couldn't fight back, didn't have the energy to even do much more than to make it to the safety of the bar. Amy and Belize were there, trying to help heal people, but all I could really do is cower in the corner. I feel like such a scared, stupid little girl. Maybe I've been running on false bravado for so long that eventually -everybody- runs out and you gotta breakdown, right?

Amy got mad at Chol because he went out to fight. I'm so lonely right now.. Seems like either everyone's got somebody, or like me, they don't and are lonely. Seems like it's even worse for me even though Belize complains there's not enough men at the bar. Think it's harder 'cos there's so many gals at the bar, but none of 'em seem to be into womenfolk.. or maybe just none of 'em into me. 'Spose it doesn't really matter, though. I guess what makes it hardest of all is because I'm in love with someone. Even if other folks were interested in me, I don't know that I could be with 'em or enjoy myself. Been keeping it mostly to myself, though.. 'cos being in love with folks hasn't been so good the last few times, and I don't know that it matters a whit anyways. So I just watch from afar, or from behind the bar or the DJ booth, and wish for things that I can't have.

Immy came back from her retreat. Said she's training to be a companion. Seems kinda all mellow and zen buddha-ey now. Seems kinda odd from her, but if it's what she needs to find peace, then more power to her. I really want her to be happy, 'cos lord knows, we all deserve a little happiness on this rock of ours.

Just wish God or Buddha or whatever could find his way to givin' me a little happiness of my own too. I guess we can't all be strong and brave and fearless all the time, right? Goddess knows, tonight is one of those nights where I wish there was someone else strong who loved me who could hold me in her arms and rock me to sleep and tell me it's gonna be okay, and we'll make a life for ourselves out on this mudball.

Gorramit, I wanna be special to someone, and I want someone to love me as much as I love them and to have all the romance and passion and everything that goes with it, even the arguments and disagreements and jokes and sickness and pain.. I want that kind of love. I know I'm a sucker and I watch too many "Happy Ever After" vids.. but it's gotta be out there somewhere, right? I mean, there can be Happy Ever After in the 'Verse, can't there?

Can't There?

Time may not heal all wounds, but it does change everything..

Time heals all wounds, or so they say.. I dunno about healing, but change, definitely.

I've spent a lot of time out in the wastes over the last few months, only coming back to Blackburne on occasion here and there to check on folks and make sure everyone's okay, and of course, to drop off loads of salvage.

Well, I have a reason to stay in Blackburne again. Somehow, I don't wanna know how, don't know the details.. but Nack managed to acquire a Firefly. Yes, a Firefly. He's named her the Osprey II after his previous ship.. but it's an honest to god Firefly. He convinced me to help put her back together and get her running ("Convince" me.. *snortle* Like he could've kept me away!)

So.. A big piece of my life that was missing since I left the Raven has returned. Granted she's not the Raven, obviously.. but this one's just as pretty as Raven was, if not prettier, and I can hear her voice calling to me, telling me she needs me. I'll be staying in town now I think, instead of wandering the wastes looking for something I can't find.

Travelling the wastes affects you, as anyone he's witnessed any of the attacks by the Wasteland Raiders will tell you, or seen Anon's reactions to folks. Supposedly there's radiation out there, and bad stuff in the food and water. I've never so much noticed, myself, other than I seem to be a lot stronger than I used to be, as evidenced by everyone who seems amazed at me swinging my giant salvage hammer around.

Well, apparently the wastes can change you when you're not lookin'. Folks almost didn't recognize me when I got back this time. One time I came back from the wastes covered in a full body set of tattoos of gears, and I didn't know where they came from or how I got 'em, I just kinda felt like they'd always been there. This time, they tell me that I'm shorter than they remember, my hair and eyes are different, and I'm bigger than I used to be. I could understand gaining weight, I guess.. but getting shorter? I dunno.. maybe I'm changing or mutating from living on this rock and going out into the wastes.. Sometimes I even feel like I've got a long tail and animal ears!

I've seen myself in the mirror, and I have to admit, I think they might be right. I don't really remember so much or see much difference, but there's a hint or a tickle in the back of my mind that says they're right.

But y'know something? I like my new look. I feel better about myself than I have in a long time, and I think I look pretty damn sexy this way. I feel good, I'm back among friends and family, those that are still here.. and I don't wanna leave, ever again.

I miss a lot of folks, though. X0X0's missing, presumed dead, Shepherd bought it a while back, and now I hear tell that Imrhien's marriage went South, Hale's moon is having hard times, and she's left Blackburne to go retreat and meditate at a Monastery somewhere. One thing about Blackburne I've come to expect -- folks come, folks go. Some ship in with the freelancers, others ship out, and some just plain out disappear.

Fortunately, we got some hardy folks that seem to be able to survive and thrive on our little world; Folks like me, like Chol and Amy, and Nack and Lauralai and Lorie.. people who are making lives for themselves here, finding love and happiness and family despite the hardships we face.

I have a life here too. It's still somewhat of a lonely life, a solitary one.. but I have friends. I have chosen family. A wise man once said that No man is a failure who has friends. I like that. I may be single, I may not get to snuggle up next to a body at night, or have a fun romp in the bunks.. but there's always new folks wandering in those doors.

In the meantime, I'm gonna have fun dancing and playing music and fixing up this new ship of mine until that magical someone comes waltzing in through that door. I have some folks I'd like it to be, but you never really can tell.

Anyways.. if you're ever on Blackburne, stop on by Firefly's and say hello! I'll be at the bar or the DJ booth or just dancing away, and the first drink's on me!

Out of the past, looking to the future..

So, umm.. I've posted some stuff about the past. There's still a bunch of stuff, 'cos hey, I've been on Blackburne almost a couple years now.. And there's all kinds of stuff I've done, like dancing, DJing, bartending, dating Aisling.. dating Laurein..

But really, most of it's kind of day-to-day stuff, right? And who wants to hear about that? Occasionally there's exciting stuff like reaver attacks, raiders, and the infrequent Alliance presence, but for the most part, life on Blackburne is like life anywhere else.. yeah, it can be rough at times, but it's life all the same; People come, people go, people get born, people die.

I been spending more and more time out in the wastelands surrounding Blackburne, trying to find useful bits and bobs and scavenging and salvaging anything I can worth savin' to bring back to town. I even managed to put together a functioning shuttle, although that took quite a while to do. It makes for long times away from town, and I know folks miss me, and I miss them, so it's always a good thing to come back to.

In fact, tonight's my first night DJing again after a month or so. I had to take another extended trip out to the wastes; I've been looking for upgrades for the town's existing power/water sources. We've had far too many raids later by wasteland raiders and reavers and I'm worried about us being left with -no- infrastructure whatsoever. Anyways, it'll be good to get back into the groove, and I'm terribly happy to see everyone again! I had a birthday when I came back, and supposedly tonight's gonna be a small "party" for me..

While I was gone, I managed to come across some old media vids from Earth-that-was, and found an old show that could've been taken directly from my life. In fact, one of the characters I swear to the gods looks JUST like me!







Amazing, right? Here's a recent picture of me at my computer, typing up other stuff..


Anyways.. life goes on. All the lovely ladies in my life have drifted away from me, and I'm essentially back to being alone. I guess I can understand -- must be hard to be close to someone who's gone for extended periods of time, right? But hopefully things will turn for the better soon. Seems like it has for everyone else. Folks getting married, folks having kidlets.. My luck's gotta change, right?

Shen & Sabrina Backstory Excerpt

So.. I'm twisting a knife in old wounds, but it's gotta be done.

Long story short, I found out that Shen was two-timing me. And when that house of cards came crashing down, she tried to commit suicide rather than face either of us or the truth. I knew then, that even though Raven was my family, my home.. that if Shen stayed, I couldn't. And I couldn't ask for them to turn her out on my behalf. So I left. This exchange occurred in the medbay of our ship just before we landed on Blackburne to take Shen to their medical pavilion.

Looking back, it still makes me cry.

*****************


Shen Jiutai stirs, her eyes opening...

Rae Overholt looks down at her. "Shen? Who did it?"

Shen Jiutai looks up and sees Sabrina standing nearby and a small smile forms on her lips, when she hears the Captain's question tears begin to pour from her eyes.

Sabrina McGee reaches down and puts a hand over Shen's..

Shen Jiutai rolls over and starts crying harder, "Why..... why did you save me?"

Ariel Liveoak blinks, her mouth opens in shock as a light begins to dawn.

Sabrina McGee whispers.. "We.. I.. couldn't let you go."

Rae Overholt shakes her head, "Shen, why?"

Shen Jiutai looks to Sabrina, tears flooding down her face, "You don't deserve me... you're too kind..."

Xiao Li is just staring in disbelief. “ … you have got to be rutting kidding me.”

Rae Overholt doesn't look any happier about this than Xiao li. "Why?"

Sabrina McGee continues, softly.."Were they coming for you?"

Shen Jiutai looks to the Captain, then back to Sabrina, "Jenna?"

Sabrina McGee bristles

Shen Jiutai: "you met Jenna?"

Rae Overholt: She bring too much back for you, or was she gonna get you caught Shen?

Ariel Liveoak whispers "wo de tian..."

Sabrina McGee: You could say that.

Shen Jiutai: "I couldn't live with those two parts of my life coming together, I.... I can't show my face. I had to save face..."

Rae Overholt: Don't make no sense Shen. You can live with killin’ a man for a crazy, but you can't handle two women meeting?

Shen Jiutai: I'm not good enough for either of you.

Rae Overholt: Well on my ship you save face by confronting things, not half-assed sepuku. Either way. It's gonna be fine, we're getting you to a doctor.

Shen Jiutai: "too good, both you and her... and what I did to her... I can't..."

Rae Overholt: Stay still. It'll iron out Shen. You just hang in there.

Sabrina McGee leans down and places her forhead on the bed next to Shen's body

Shen Jiutai: "I've lied, I've lived a life full of lies... you wouldn't want to be with me if you knew..."

Rae Overholt: I'm still your captain and you're still to follow my orders. You ain't dead yet.

Sabrina McGee sighs

Shen Jiutai: "This whole time, whenever I could... I would meet her, we've been together for two years. I was never in Jail, I was on Sihnon..."

Ariel Liveoak moves to the table and rests a hand on Shen's forehead, trying to impart calm and peacefulness with all her energy.

Rae Overholt: Not the first time someone's cheated Shen. Won't be the last.

Shen Jiutai: "...with Jenna... she...she asked me to marry her.... I ran away... that neckless I gave you..."

Sabrina McGee lifts her head up from the table, standing up and stepping backwards... "What?"

Shen Jiutai: "You don't deserve me..." Shen Jiutai breaks down into tears.

Ariel Liveoak gasps. "Oh dear." she says quietly, looking quickly at Sabrina.

Shen Jiutai: "I love both you and her so much, but I can't face the thought that something would happen... Something always happens..."

Sabrina McGee: "You mean to say.." pulling the necklace out from under her top..

Rae Overholt stands there, stone faced and silent. She's torn between helping a member of her crew live and keeping another from being hurt so bad.

Sabrina McGee breaks down in tears.. "Maybe I was ready to shoot the wrong one, then.. "

Shen Jiutai nods, "It's hers, I stole it... I don't know why, I guess I wanted at least to have you."

Ariel Liveoak reaches to Sabrina with her other hand, offering.

Sabrina McGee: "I.. I can't keep it then. It's not mine. It was never really mine to begin with. I was just holding onto it for a while.”

Shen Jiutai looks into Sabrina's eyes pleadingly. "Shoot me, please, I'd welcome it."

Rae Overholt: That's just nonsense talk.

Sabrina McGee: ::barely audible:: No. I couldn't do that to you.

Shen Jiutai: I deserve it, all you've known is a pack of lies...

Sabrina McGee: ::softly:: No free pass for you.

Rae Overholt: Shen, you just get well, we'll deal with the aftermath later.

Ariel Liveoak nods, agreeing with the Captain.

Shen Jiutai rolls over and hides her face

Ariel Liveoak: All things in their season...

Sabrina McGee unclasps the necklace and hands it to Ariel.. "Here. see that Jenna gets this back."

Ariel Liveoak slowly takes the necklace, looking at Sabrina with profound sympathy. She nods.

Sabrina McGee looks down at the floor and pinches the bridge of her nose between index finger and thumb

Ariel Liveoak puts her hands on Sabrina's shoulders and draws her in.

Rae Overholt watches, uncertain what to say in a time like this. "You wanna head out to the galley Brina?"

Sabrina McGee goes pliant and lets herself get pulled away

Shen Jiutai sobs

Rae Overholt puts a soft hand on Shen's head. “Mistakes aren't worth dyin for Shen, then you can't learn from them.”

Ariel Liveoak says quietly "Let out what needs to flow, dear heart. Don't hide it."

Sabrina McGee relaxes her grip on her wrench and lets it hit the floor... “Shen... I...” ::weeping::
Sabrina McGee turns and runs out of the medbay..

Rae Overholt looks at Brina as she runs out. "Brina.." She turns to Ariel, "What do you recommend I do? I think this is more your area of specialty than mine."

Ariel Liveoak: We have two wounded crew members, Captain. We need to care for both of them. I'll go sit with Bri... I think we should get proper medical care for Shen.
Ariel Liveoak goes looking for Sabrina.

Rae Overholt nods, hoping that Xiao Li gets them up in the air soon. She decides she'd better stay with Shen and let Ariel handle the emotional wounds.

So long.. family.

No other title for this than what it was originally called.
This is how I ended up at Firefly's on Blackburne.
Shen & Sabrina Backstory -- Things Fall Apart
Original Post

Tuesday, August 7, 2007
"So long.. family."
THE STORY SO FAR:
In our last episode, the Captain and crew were re-aquatinted with the mysterious stranger, Jenna Kasei, whom they suspected responsible for Shen’s violent attack. Upon tying Jenna up and generally intimidating her, Ariel determined that Jenna was telling the truth when she claimed not to have even seen Shen on her last visit to Burnet’s Moon. Feeling protective and suspicious, Rae and Sabrina allow Jenna to see the unconscious Shen, they are taken aback at Jenna’s offer to pay whatever it takes to find Shen treatment on the planet below. With Jenna stored safely for takeoff, Shen awakes to reveal that she sustained her injury in a suicide attempt. Faced with the specter of her two lovers finally meeting, Shen fell on her sword. Shen also reveals that the diamond neckless she had given to Sabrina was stolen from Jenna as Shen fled in response to a marriage proposal. Sabrina, with a broken heart asks Ariel to return the neckless to Jenna.

THE STORY CONTINUES:


Rae Overholt walks in, looking for Shen and hoping she's a little better in the care of some real doctors.

The doctors give you a lot of grief about leaving a wounded person with them...

Rae Overholt shakes her head, "Thats what they're for."

Sabrina McGee sighs and looks harried

The doctors fuss with clipboards and X-rays...

Xiao Li shifts restlessly from foot to foot

Doc #1: “Looks like she'll need to be in bed for at least a few weeks...”

Sabrina McGee gets up and starts pacing..

Vertigo Hawks fidgets, he doesn't like hospitals.

Rae Overholt looks at the doctor, "How long's a few weeks? She going to live?"

Gabriel Keats takes a sidelong look at Rae's back, makes a note to speak to her in private later.

Doc #2: "Yeah, you're lucky you got her in when you did, any longer and she wouldn't have made it."

Rae Overholt nods. Resisting the urge to pace herself and waiting for clear cut answers.

Doc #2: "She'll be back on her feet like nothing happened in about a month's time."

Sabrina McGee stops pacing, crosses her arms, and sighs.. "Captain?"
Rae Overholt: Yeah Brina?
Rae Overholt gives her a worried look, as if she expects something bad.

Sabrina McGee: I... I won't be coming back to the Raven.

Xiao Li: ...what?

Gabriel Keats: "This ain't because. . ."

Rae Overholt blinks a few times, "You can't desert us Brina!! We'll get this straightened out, don't you worry. Just give us time!"

Vertigo Hawks shifts his feet and looks up at Sabrina.

Sabrina McGee: What am I gonna do, Cap'n?

Rae Overholt: You're gonna travel the verse with us.

Sabrina McGee: Leave her here? Or try and stay cooped up and not dwell?

Rae Overholt: We'll be in so many spots you'll meet someone else in no time.

Sabrina McGee: I can't do that.. Can't do that to her either.

Rae Overholt: Just you wait.

Xiao Li: You're GOING to suck it up and do your job.

Rae Overholt: Well, I reckon she made her own bed and can deal with things when she gets on her feet. Just cause she went and messed up don't mean you gotta pay for it.

Gabriel Keats: "Brina. . . you shouldn't let one jian huo kick you off the Raven. . . but. . ." He closes his eyes, tries to block everything out. "It ain't as though I don't understand the notion."

Sabrina McGee: I can't do it.. Pa's moving his warehouse and distilling operations down here, away from Washtown.. The owner of the bar sounds like he'll give me a job bar-tending.

Rae Overholt: So, that's it then.

Gabriel Keats: "You gonna be happy without a boat to tinker with?"

Rae Overholt: Your mind 's made up. Nothing to do to change it.

Sabrina McGee: No, probably not, but at least it'd be happier than tinkering on the boat nonstop 'cos I can't leave the engine room.

Rae Overholt: You got four weeks.

Gabriel Keats: ". . . this ain't the Core, you know."

Xiao Li walks out of the room, muttering something unprintable under her breath

Sabrina McGee: I know it's not the core. But if this is what my dreams of romance and love on the core are gonna get me, I'd rather just stay here and keep doing what I was doing. Instead of seeing folks get shot or stabbed or hurt..

Gabriel Keats: "You'll see plenty a that out here. . . but I'm fair certain you know it."

Vertigo Hawks watches the Cap'n pace back and forth.

Rae Overholt: You're leaving me in a lurch Brina. We've taken care of each other.

Gabriel Keats puts a hand on Rae's arm as she walks by

Rae Overholt stops and looks at Gabe, her frustration and sadness leaking through.

Sabrina McGee: No.. you take care of me. I just take care of that goh-se boat of ours.. can't fight, shoot..

Rae Overholt: That's all we need you to do Brina.

Sabrina McGee sighs and puts her head in her hands

Gabriel Keats: "Just keep us floating and away from the Black..." He tries not to get overwhelmed by the emotions, quashes them down. "But you gotta take care of your family."

Sabrina McGee: Mechanics are a dime a dozen.. how many of 'em kept showing up wanting my job?

Rae Overholt: You's one of my first crew Brina.

Vertigo Hawks shifts uncomfortably and notices something outside, he steps out to investigate.

Xiao Li sits just outside the door and sulks

Rae Overholt: That's awful hard to let go of.

Sabrina McGee: You think this is easy for me? You think I like walking away from my baby?

Rae Overholt: No. I know it isn't. I reckon you're between Alliance and a Reaver.

Sabrina McGee: She's MINE, gorammit!

Rae Overholt: Then who're you gonna get to replace you?

Xiao Li: "She's really leaving, isn't she?" Xiao Li murmurs in an undertone to Vertigo as he walks out.

Vertigo Hawks nods to Xiao Li, "Looks like"

Sabrina McGee sighs and puts her palms up

Gabriel Keats: "We'll find someone. She's right 'bout one thing--mechanics are replaceable."

Rae Overholt: Some mechancis.

Gabriel Keats: "Crew's a harder notion. You ain't gonna stop being crew no matter what."

Sabrina McGee mumbles under her breath.. "Or family.."

Gabriel Keats: "Least not to my thinking. Can't speak for the Cap, of course."

Rae Overholt nods.

Gabriel Keats seems almost surreally calm.

Xiao Li shakes her head. "Ta ma de..."

Rae Overholt: That mean we get free drinks if'n you stay down here?

Sabrina McGee nods. Well, y'know you've always got my Pa's blessing.. Dunno 'bout the bar.. but I'll make sure Pa keeps you supplied..

Xiao Li: Love's nothin' but trouble, Hawks. If I ever get like that over somebody, shoot me.

Rae Overholt: Then I reckon you'd better start tonight. I'm going to need a few drinks myself after it. *she gives the doctors a final look before walking out*

Gabriel Keats: "You just gonna sit here, 'Brina?"

Sabrina McGee shrugs and gets up... “Well, dunno what else to do, Gabe.. Everyone hates me right now.”

Gabriel Keats looks at the chair, focusing on the empty space a moment, then heads outside.

Vertigo Hawks: I don't know about the rest of you, but I need a drink.

Sabrina McGee: I've got some coin stashed away.. maybe I could buy everyone a drink..

Xiao Li refuses to meet Sabrina's eyes as she steps outside

Rae Overholt: I dont HATE you Brina!! Crazy fool.

Sabrina McGee: Sure does feel like it..

Gabriel Keats: "She doesn't. You can take my word for it."

Rae Overholt: Well I don't! You're not some reader so don't play it!

Sabrina McGee: I'm sure there'll always be work here to bring you back... at least, seems there's more work here than we were seein' in Washburne..

Gabriel Keats: "You better be gettin' us work. You're a bartender now; it's your job to drum up contacts."

Sabrina McGee: Well, I know Pa's been getting more orders since he moved out here. Plus, lotta folks come through the bar, looks like..

Gabriel Keats: "He still gonna pay us to move his 'shine?"

Sabrina McGee nods

Vertigo Hawks grins, "That's a good thing."

Gabriel Keats laughs. "Says you. I still ain't allowed to touch the go se."

Vertigo Hawks nods to Xiao Li, "Come on, I'll buy the first round"

Xiao Li: Best thing I heard all day.

Sabrina McGee: Look.. I know it's hard.. but I can't stay.. I can't make you guys choose one or the other.. and it'd tear me apart every day.

Rae Overholt nods, crossing her arms and staring at something interesting on the ground.

Gabriel Keats: "Rae, you want to borrow my vest? It's a mite chilly." He keeps his voice casual.

Rae Overholt glances at him, uncomprehending for a moment.

Sabrina McGee: Those memories are gonna stay in my head a long while.. I haven't been sleeping well lately 'cos I keep seeing her laying there with the sword.. or that other lady..

Vertigo Hawks: C'mon, mei mei... they can catch up...

Xiao Li: "M'nobody's mei mei," she mutters, but follows Vertigo anyway.

Gabriel Keats mutters under his breath, Chinese that translates to, 'that girl has got to be more careful.' "Rae. . ."

Rae Overholt glances back at him, "Gabe?"
Rae Overholt looks at the stranger, wondering if he has any shipworthy talents. “You, got a job?” *she looks at Fenris*

Fenris Gausman nods to the strangers and smiles as they pass

Over in the bar:

Sabrina McGee blinks

Vertigo Hawks places some credits on the bar, "You really work here?"

Sabrina McGee hrmms..

Vertigo Hawks: "I'm buying the lady her first drink..."

Alycia Unknown removes her gum and sticks it to the side of her goggles. “Okay, but I'm only acceptin' 'cause I ain't takin' 'Brina's money.”

Sabrina McGee: Yup.. Barkeep said he'd hire me on... What'll you have?

Alycia Unknown: Somethin' strong an' cheap.

Sabrina McGee: House Martini it is!

Vertigo Hawks looks around the bar, "Kinda quiet on a Monday night..."

Sabrina McGee mixes up a martini with Nack's special house bathtub gin. “Not open on Mondays..”

Vertigo Hawks: Make that two...

Alycia Unknown: Yeah, that'll do it.

Vertigo Hawks sets his empty glass down and looks around, his eyes kinda focusing on the man sitting across the room.

Tristan Pennell looks around at the crowd gathering...a memory flits past his mind

Vertigo Hawks's eyes focus on Tristan...

Tristan Pennell: I know you... Hawks?

Vertigo Hawks: hey wait... weren't you...? Tristan?

Xiao Li: Cap'n, c'n you do me a favor?

Rae Overholt: What ya need Xiao li?

Sabrina McGee: Get you a drink, Cap'n?

Xiao Li: 'f I ever get that moon-brained over somebody, shoot me.

Tristan Pennell: NanShung!!!! Ai-YA ...YES!! You look well!

Vertigo Hawks: Gorram it all to hell!!!! How the hell?

Tristan Pennell: you look rich! Buy me a drink!

Vertigo Hawks chuckles, not very... hell yes!

Gabriel Keats mutters, "great.…”

Sabrina McGee: Oh thanks, Xiao Li..

Rae Overholt: Same goes here Xiao Li, now buy me a drink.

Gabriel Keats: "Xiao Li, you have my word. I'll shoot ya."

Vertigo Hawks: 'Brina... some of the finest for this gentleman... Oh, I guess the Cap'n and gabe too...

Tristan Pennell: unbelievable...what are you doing? Captain?
Tristan Pennell looks around at the crowd

Sabrina McGee: Right..

Tristan Pennell: McGee?

Vertigo Hawks: Well, this here is my crew... well the Cap'n crew...

Gabriel Keats crosses his arms.

Xiao Li: Fine. 'Brina, 'nother one o' these house martinis for the Cap'n.

Sabrina McGee pulls out the hidden bottle of scotch

Vertigo Hawks: Rae Overholt meet Tristan Pennell.
Tristan Pennell: Captain...

Vertigo Hawks: We were in the war together...

Sabrina McGee mixes up a special Martini for the Cap'n..

Tristan Pennell: my god that is so much better than the swill I’ve been drinking

Rae Overholt: Yeah Vertigo?

Xiao Li looks over her shoulder at the man Vertigo is talking to. "Whozis?"

Sabrina McGee: Another house special.. Chocolate Martini..

Vertigo Hawks: this is one hell of a great guy!

Gabriel Keats moves to stand behind Rae, blocking her back from view.

Tristan Pennell: We met...ages ago now...

Vertigo Hawks: Hell, he must'a saved my but two or three times!!!

Tristan Pennell: he's a flier...no sense putting him on the ground

Rae Overholt: That so?

Vertigo Hawks: When I was shot down and behind lines...

Tristan Pennell: I sort of showed him a couple a of trick is all.

Vertigo Hawks: Hey Tristan, remember that Amazon Corporal?

Rae Overholt: Kinda, shifty eyed lookin’. You trouble Tristan?

Vertigo Hawks: what was her name...? Roe... Zoe?

Tristan Pennell: Zoe... no... trouble

Vertigo Hawks: Man I wonder what ever happened to her... I had such a crush!

Tristan Pennell: she was flying in a Firefly last I heard

Vertigo Hawks: 'makes two of us... well, more like five or six of us...

Tristan Pennell: What?

Xiao Li looks thoughtful. "Zoe... Zoe... name sounds familiar, but I can't quite..."

Rae Overholt: Yeah, does doesn't it Xiao Li.

Gabriel Keats: "Ain't like it's an uncommon name."

Tristan Pennell: This crew is a Firefly crew?

Vertigo Hawks nods. “Not a bad bunch.”

Tristan Pennell: Oh! Wait... McGee~~~!!!!! This is RAven's McGee??

Sabrina McGee: Err.. yeah? So?

Tristan Pennell: I heard of you.
Sabrina McGee: Don't see how.. I'm just a wrench is all... was...

Tristan Pennell: Firefly is your boat, no?

Rae Overholt: Raven. She's a firefly yeah.

Sabrina McGee: I kept a firefly in the air. Raven.

Tristan Pennell: and she's yours... oh...gods, ooops Captains Boat

Sabrina McGee: Guess that'll be open, now, though..

Tristan Pennell: how so?

Rae Overholt: Only if you're sure Brina.

Sabrina McGee: Cap'n, you can't let 'em muck up what I did. I know someone'll get in there and wanna re-route everything... And they'll.. ::breaks down crying::

Tristan Pennell: uhm...maybe I should just sort of sit down over there.

Rae Overholt: Nobody's gonna re-route my ship. gorrammit.. That blasted Kevin done enough to it already!

Xiao Li snorts in disgust. "Your own gorramn fault."

Vertigo Hawks eyes Tristan, then Rae, "Ya know Cap'n... this guy is pretty good with machines..."

Rae Overholt: Is he now?

Sabrina McGee: I didn't ask for this, Xiao Li.

Rae Overholt: What's with them busted knuckles?

Gabriel Keats closes his eyes. "Brina, ain't nothin' gonna happen to the ship. You can breathe."

Tristan Pennell: knuckles get busted when you work

Rae Overholt: Brina's didn't. Guess she had smaller hands to get into tighter spots though.

Tristan Pennell: we all have a style... and work is a big word.

Vertigo Hawks nods, "There was this one time we needed to evac, and there was this shuttle that had a messed up Grav boot..."

Rae Overholt: So, he's good at repairing gunships.

Vertigo Hawks: "He had that thing in the air in fifteen minutes"

Rae Overholt: A wide variety of ships, thats what you're telling me.

Tristan Pennell: I’m good at ‘things’

Rae Overholt: Hmm.

SeanM Writer wanders in.

Rae Overholt: Alright then. You've got a job. First sign of trouble. I'm beating you with your wrench.

Tristan Pennell: I have a big wrench, too.

Xiao Li smirks. "Call me in first so I c'n watch."

Vertigo Hawks chuckles

Gabriel Keats looks Tristan up and down, trying to get the measure of him. He narrows his eyes, shrugs, and turns, keeping himself close to Rae's back

Sabrina McGee: Need to borrow mine, Cap?

Rae Overholt: I might at that Brina.

Sabrina McGee: Touch any of my work and die.

Tristan Pennell: McGee...why? never mind...I’m glad I was here to help out... so...a gig on a bug

SeanM Writer slides up onto a stool at the bar, his eyes on the wall in front of him.

Tristan Pennell: My head will get sore banging bulkheads.

Vertigo Hawks chuckles, "That it will.. I can tell ya!"

Tristan Pennell: Well... wow... I'm yes Captain, thank you.

Xiao Li: Guys ever heard of a thing called "ducking"?

Gabriel Keats eyes the newcomer. "You lookin' for a drink?"

SeanM Writer clears his throat quietly. "I was about to ask..."

Tristan Pennell: Nanshung? yu ever heard of ducking?

Rae Overholt smirks at Xiao Li's comment.

Vertigo Hawks raises an eyebrow.

Xiao Li: Y'know, where you lower your head going through a door so's you don't give yourself a concussion?

Vertigo Hawks looks down on the short red-head and hurrumphs.

Rae Overholt leans back on Gabe.

Sabrina McGee: Help ya, Mr?

SeanM Writer looks to the bartender. "What do you have that won't kill me?"

Sabrina McGee: Well, bar's not technically open right now.. but I'll see what I can get ya'

Rae Overholt works on the chocolate martini, enjoying the taste and getting tipsy.

SeanM Writer: Anything but Xingdao, please. Even hydraulic fluid would be better.

Sabrina McGee opens the bar fridge and pulls out an Iron city..

Vertigo Hawks: So what in the 'Verse are you donig out here anyways T?

Rae Overholt : Guess its good to have you aboard Tristan. *tips her glass to him*

Gabriel Keats chuckles and lets Rae rest against him. "S'long as you're back there, Brina, can I get somethin' without the fun stuff?"

SeanM Writer pops open the lid and pushes some money across the bar.

Tristan Pennell: thanks...its better work than the fliers and crap... so...I heard some tales... about Raven

Sabrina McGee: Heh.. guess if I'm serving, I should log in..

Tristan Pennell: slavers.… drug runners

Rae Overholt smacks and lips her lips as she finishes the martini, turning to request another and tilting slightly. Grabbing the bar she rights herself and blinks.

Vertigo Hawks clears his throat... "We ain't slavers!"

Sabrina McGee mixes up another Chocolate Martini for Rae and sets it in front of her..

Tristan Pennell: hey! its just tales

Gabriel Keats: "Rae. . ."

Xiao Li: Gorram right we ain't.

Sabrina McGee pulls out a mug for Gabe and puts a teabag in it..

Gabriel Keats: "Cap. . ."

SeanM Writer listens carefully to the banter, watching the crowd quietly.

Tristan Pennell: Well... gorram Good!

Xiao Li stares long and hard at the man on the far end of the bar.

Tristan Pennell: I ain't into dealing that way

SeanM Writer: "Thanks for the beer. Gotta love something that foams on the bottom."

Sabrina McGee nods

Rae Overholt blinks at him, "Gabe?"

Vertigo Hawks: Look, not a lot a work out here, sometimes ya gotta take what comes along...

Tristan Pennell: I’ll take it

Rae Overholt picks up the martini and slowly, carefully turns back around to watch everyone and listen.

Tristan Pennell: and I have other "skills" Captain

Gabriel Keats: "Remember what you told me 'bout stayin' sharp?"

Tristan Pennell: I can be quite useful, I think

Sabrina McGee: Evening, Folks! Welcome to Firefly's!

SeanM Writer puts his beer down on the bar. He clears his throat again. "Excuse me, bartender who's not a bartender..."
Sabrina McGee: Yes, Mr.?

SeanM Writer: "You know of anyone looking for a flight surgeon?

Sabrina McGee: And I am actually a bartender here.
SeanM Writer: Ah. well, then. And a fine job you're doing of it.

Vertigo Hawks looks to the stranger... “you're a medic?”

Sabrina McGee: And yes, Raven's been lookin' for a sawbones for a while..

Tristan Pennell: so...Hawks...what are you doing on the boat?

Sabrina McGee: ain't had much luck in that dept. since Rio..

SeanM Writer looks to Vertigo. "Yes."

Rae Overholt blinks at him, "Skills? What skills?" she then jumps and raises a hand to wave in the air, "OO OO, we are, surgeon, we are", as she tilts precariously on her seat again.

Vertigo Hawks: not much, whatever needs doin'... Gun, I guess.

Xiao Li: Just tell me you ain't got any long-lost lovers who're gonna pop up at inconvenient times.

Tristan Pennell: I know a guy who is doing a real bait and switch...he's looking for just you, I know it

Vertigo Hawks: Really?

Tristan Pennell: Remember George?

SeanM Writer drains the beer, and puts it down on the counter.

Vertigo Hawks: George? sure!

Gabriel Keats looks at Rae and sighs slightly.

Tristan Pennell: we were in Du-Khang?

Vertigo Hawks: yeah, I remember George...

Rae Overholt smiles sweetly up at Gabe.

Tristan Pennell: he has this idea.… it sounds hair brained to me... but I bet you and him could pull it off. Want his number?

Sabrina McGee: Howdy Mr. Enoch..

Vertigo Hawks nods

Rae Overholt: Reckon that means vertigo's next.

Tristan Pennell fumbles around with his organizer. “hang on a sec, I have it here somewhere...”

Vertigo Hawks: Well, Cap'n... George is a hell of a pilot...

Gabriel Keats: "Too much chocolate, baobei..."

Tristan Pennell: Goram Right!

Rae Overholt nods, "Sure, fine, go on then."

Vertigo Hawks: Think ya could do without me for a spell?

Rae Overholt puts her drink on the counter, done and down.

Tristan Pennell steps back and surveys the crew a second....

Vertigo Hawks: Cap'n, I think you'd like George... hell of a guy.

Tristan Pennell: he ran an hot zone evac flier

Vertigo Hawks: he was even crazier than I was!

Tristan Pennell: ha...and that says some

Sabrina McGee pours herself a shot of her stashed Drambuie

Gabriel Keats: "We been lookin' for a doctor for our crew. You Core?"

SeanM Writer leaves a tip on the bar. and stands.

Xiao Li puts down her empty glass and pulls the gum off of her goggles again

Sabrina McGee: Le Cheim!

Rae Overholt nods vaguely at Vertigo, already writing him off in her head. "Sure."

SeanM Writer: "I am...at least I have been"

Gabriel Keats: "You got field experience? Military, hospital. . .anythin' cept a pitched tent, really."

Tristan Pennell: McGee? Any more of that water of life back there?

Sabrina McGee: Well, I dunno 'bout the Scotch.. but I got plenty of other stuff..

Vertigo Hawks steps out into the night air.

SeanM Writer: "I was a field surgeon."

Rae Overholt points to Tristan, "You going to give our pilot a run for her money with the booze?"

Tristan Pennell whispers quietly..."Bye Nanshung"

Xiao Li: Heh, maybe he can help me quality-test that hooch we're usin' for fuel.

Tristan Pennell: oh...nice...thanks

Sabrina McGee pours Tristan a shot of SoCo

SeanM Writer: "In other words, I was a saw slinger."

Gabriel Keats: "You interested in bein' part of a crew? Or are you one of those grounded types?""

SeanM Writer: "I wouldn’t have asked if anyone needed a flight surgeon if I was a groundling."
Tristan Pennell: so..."Captain" tell me about Raven...Stuff McGee won't

Rae Overholt: What you want to know Tristan?
Rae Overholt gives him a blurry look.

SeanM Writer: "What have you got for a sickbay?"

Tristan Pennell: the bug is a flighty beast... and McGee has worked hard...she has a rep!!

Sabrina McGee: Her name's Raven.

Tristan Pennell: but I want to know a bit about what you do.… where you plan to go

Gabriel Keats's eyes widen slightly, remembering a few choice moments. He shakes his head. "Some folk's don't get bein' part of a crew. Think it's mostly lie-over between jobs 'stead of bein’ out in the Black. We got it full stocked from a run; our last doctor left most of his supplies too. State of the art Core go se, real fancy. I can show ya around." He looks a little nervous.

Rae Overholt: Right now, we ship shine. For Brina's papa, we run salvage when we can, and pick up odd jobs here and there.

Xiao Li: What kin'a mechanic don't call the ship by 'er name?

Tristan Pennell: She's not mine...She's McGee's

SeanM Writer looks around the bar, and back at Gabriel, "I'm sure it's well enough in order."

Sabrina McGee: Yeah, well, Miss Ana never saw fit to give 'er to me... But she probably belongs more to this crew than anyone..

SeanM Writer: "I'm used to working with whatever there is.…”

Gabriel Keats laughs. "Good quality in a doctor. Seein' as what we have, we mostly steal."

Tristan Pennell: Bao-mei...if you make her fly...she's your lover

Rae Overholt chuckles, "nah, Xiao Li dont 'llow no lovers on board."

Gabriel Keats inhales sharply.

Tristan Pennell: ok...I sense tension!!!

SeanM Writer watches Keats carefully.

Gabriel Keats mutters, "ain't you a regular psychic."

Sabrina McGee: no, that pofu is currently in the clinic..

Xiao Li: Look. Love's cost us one doctor already, an' now it's costin' us a mechanic an' a cook. You wonder why I have a problem with it?

Sabrina McGee: but Raven was my girl, sho'nuff..

Tristan Pennell: yeah. I know what you mean. I'll be good to her, make her purr, rub her belly.

Rae Overholt: Aw now Xiao li, we'll just find you someone on another crew. So you only see each other once in a yin yang.

SeanM Writer laughs with a hard edge at Alycia's mention of love costing them a doctor. “Well, there's a problem I won't have.”

Xiao Li gives Rae a death glare

Gabriel Keats: "Seein' as I seem to be the one doin' the interviewin', if you want the job, you got it. You get a cut of what we take, room and board, and a whole host of issues."

Rae Overholt grins drunkenly at her, oblivious.

Tristan Pennell: Sooo.....McGee.....tell me.… the atmo-scrubbers.....working....

Xiao Li: Love's nothin' but trouble, in my 'sperience.

Sabrina McGee: Yeah, just you wait 'til it smacks you in the head with a wrench... 'course, you'd have to pull your goggles off first...

Tristan Pennell steps back from the two women.

SeanM Writer: "Well, if that means my issues get pooled in... then it sounds like a deal. Let me take a look at your bird."


Gabriel Keats: "Brina? Xiao Li? Can you keep an eye on the Cap'n for me? Personal favor."

Sabrina McGee: Everything's shipshape, Tristan.. I got preoccupied with tearing everything down and rebuilding it.. multiple times.. while my girl was dying.

Tristan Pennell: oh God... ok. Come sit and chat a bit.

Gabriel Keats notes the knife on Tristan's leg, doesn't say anything.

Tristan Pennell: Keats....you're staring

Rae Overholt spins in her chair to prop her elbows on the bar.

Gabriel Keats gives him a flat, passive glance and turns. "I'll show you the infirmary."

SeanM Writer: Very well.

Gabriel Keats walks out, face unreadable

Sabrina McGee: I've got a meeting with the bosses in about 20 minutes..

Rae Overholt: What boss is that? Certainly aint me.

SeanM Writer stands with his hands behind his back, a hint of a military "at ease" bearing to him.

Rae Overholt sits there, sulking, still tipsy.

SeanM Writer: Lead on at your leisure. It's not like I'm going anywhere else.

Tristan Pennell: McGee...the boat sounds a beauty...you call her Raven...I like the image.

Xiao Li stares at the countertop, lost in thought. Or in drink. Whichever.

Sabrina McGee: Actually, Xiao Li gets credit fer namin' her..

Xiao Li: No I don't. I wanted to name 'er "Blackbird." It was the old doc who came up with "Raven."

Sabrina McGee: Was it?
Tristan Pennell: I know a story about Raven... the bird I mean

Xiao Li: That's my recollection.

Sabrina McGee: I must've forgotten that 'cos you painted her raven on the side
Sabrina McGee looks over at Rae and sighs..

Xiao Li shrugs. " 's an old pic I found on the Cortex. Tribal design or some such. So what's the story?”

Rae Overholt: What story's that? *she swings her head to look at Tristan*

Tristan Pennell smiles... you may regret asking me that... maybe one day....out in the black...when we are all bored to death....I’ll tell it.

Rae Overholt nods, "Deal. You like stories Xiao Li?”

Xiao Li: This better be one hell of a story. The good ones, yeah.

Rae Overholt swings her head from Xiao Li, to Tristan again, "'sit a good one?"

Tristan Pennell: I don't really tell stories as much as recount stuff I’ve come across... I can be sort of fun at parties.....you'll see

Rae Overholt: We have to keep the liquor locked up on the boat.

Tristan Pennell: but ...what's the point of telling a bad story?

Xiao Li smirks. "Remind me to tell you the goat story sometime."

Sabrina McGee baaaas

Tristan Pennell: a goat story.… oh, we can compare ours...I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours

Rae Overholt: I got a story 'bout a pig. Damn near tried to tap dance on my liver nasty ornery thing.

Xiao Li: You mean that, Tris?

Tristan Pennell: Mei-Mei....I mean everything I say.

‘Xiao Li scowls. "I. Am. Not. Anybody's. MEI-MEI."

Tristan Pennell: ok ok ....its a ...word....sorry

Rae Overholt: Aww now Xiao Li, you're not my mei-mei?

Rae Overholt gives her a "look"

Xiao Li: No. I'm not. I haven't been anybody's since...
Xiao Li trails off and stares down at the countertop again

Sabrina McGee: Ha!

Tristan Pennell: new topic!!!1

Sabrina McGee snorts

Rae Overholt shakes her head, resisting the odd overpowering temptation to slam Xiao Li's head into the bar.

Tristan Pennell: McGee... come sit and show me your tools....

Xiao Li: Oh no. You gotta get me a hell of a lot more drunk to get *that* story outta me.

Sabrina McGee: Now that's an interesting way to hit on a girl, there..

Tristan Pennell: is it working? NICE!!!!

Sabrina McGee: Well, you can ask my ex-girlfriend in the infirmary about how to hit on me.

Tristan Pennell: Oh Gods... I keep doing that... please accept my apologies.

Xiao Li snickers

Sabrina McGee: She's lucky she's in the infirmary. If she hadn't done it herself, I would've done it for her once I found out.

Rae Overholt sighs

Tristan Pennell butts out his stogie, “I got me one of those!

Sabrina McGee: Do not piss off the mechanic bitch with the giant wrenches and the ability to decompress your crew bunk.

Tristan Pennell: you see... Captain tell it where to go... but Mech's really own the boat

Rae Overholt reaches out and smacks Tristan upside the back of his head.

Tristan Pennell: ai-ya sorry Capt... didn't see you eves dropping

Rae Overholt gives him a look, sizing him up.

Tristan Pennell whispers at McGee.… "you know I'm right"

Sabrina McGee chuckles, “Well.. I have to get heading back..”

Rae Overholt waves dismissively at Brina, still sulking.

Tristan Pennell: I'll watch the Raven for you

Sabrina McGee: You're just gonna wave, Cap'n?

Xiao Li doesn't even bother to look up at Sabrina as she goes.

Rae Overholt: You want me to cry?

Sabrina gives Rae a big hug. “I been cryin' for a week, Rae...”

Rae Overholt: Reckon I'll do that later in private.

Sabrina McGee: You know I don't wanna do this.

Rae Overholt gives her a hug, hoping to see her again sometime. "I know Brina."

Sabrina McGee: But I can't help it, and I ain't gotta choice.

Tristan Pennell: She's been here a while...on Raven I mean?

Sabrina McGee: Guess a hug won't work, huh, Xiao Li?

Xiao Li just grunts

Tristan Pennell: You're a bit hard...a flyer right?

Xiao Li: Yep.

Tristan Pennell: yep

Rae Overholt reaches up and wipes an eye as she returns to her seat, avoiding looking at anyone.

Tristan Pennell looks past the captain...not wanting to... interfere... Xing Li... you staying or going? Just seems like some folks are going... not many staying.

Xiao Li: I ain't leavin'.

Sabrina McGee tosses something on the bar in front of Xiao Li... it's the last remaining coin of pay from their first job together. “Hang onto that for me, will ya?”

Rae Overholt spins on her chair again, facing Fenris. She picks up some of the bar snacks and throws them at him. "Hey you. Got a name?"

Sabrina McGee: I'll be wanting that back sometime, Xiao Li. Sometime when you come pick me up again.

Tristan Pennell smiles recognizing a symbolic moment when he sees one

Sabrina McGee turns to walk out of the bar.. quietly.. "So long.. family."

Xiao Li waits until Sabrina is out of the building, then quietly pockets the coin.

Rae Overholt: “Damn right.” Rae Overholt nods.

Tristan Pennell looks at his drink and feels a bit uncomfortable

Rae Overholt : We wont kill you right off Tristan. It'll be a slow colorful death.

Tristan Pennell: I look good in colors

Rae Overholt : Hope so.

Tristan Pennell: The pilot...she's ok? Tristan Pennell looks at Xiao Li

Xiao Li: I'm *right here.*

Rae Overholt: She's just fine.

Tristan Pennell: oh...you are...yeah... I see that now...

Gabriel Keats: "We've got a doc, assumin' he don't turn out to be another Jadi."

Tristan Pennell: so a doc, a flier, a capt and Mate, and a mech.… sounds like a crew

Xiao Li: We also got an occasional weapons consultant... wherever the hell he is these days.

Tristan Pennell: I got guns

Rae Overholt: “You use um?” Rae Overholt waves at Gabe. “What do you mean another Jadi??”

Tristan Pennell: I saved Hawks skinny ass more than once.… he'll tell you.

Rae Overholt: He gone crazy killed folks??

Gabriel Keats smiles warmly at Rae, seeming to have calmed some. "You know, I don't believe he has."

Rae Overholt: Good then.

Tristan Pennell: Docs that kill...sorry state of the 'verse

Gabriel Keats: "Jadi weren't a doc."

Xiao Li: Want me to do some checkin' on the Cortex, see what I can find out?

Rae Overholt: Think that might be proper, though, lot good its done us lately. Rae Overholt sighs. “Damn Shen.”

Gabriel Keats: "That'd be appreciated." He takes a packet of papers from his vest, hands them to Xiao li. "That's what he gave me. See if it checks out?"

Xiao Li: “Ain't no amount of research can stop people from bein' stupid for love. Will do."

Tristan Pennell smiles at the pilot.….

Xiao Li: S'why I don't touch the stuff.

Tristan Pennell: no love, Pilot? Makes a cold Cockpit

Xiao Li: Like I said. Love just leads to trouble.

Tristan Pennell: Trouble comes from jealousy, insecurity, lust and faithlessness. Not love.

Xiao Li: You say that like there's a difference.

Tristan Pennell smiles again..." I have a lot of stories for you then, pilot"

Rae Overholt nods, "Stories are good."

Tristan Pennell: It’s not so much stories? Its more...the STORY

Rae Overholt: ah

Tristan Pennell: We all are just part of the STORY... and it changes when we meet new people.

Gabriel Keats refrains from rolling his eyes.

Rae Overholt: Know a man, likes books. Never understood it.

Tristan Pennell: I have a book...a little one...

Xiao Li rubs the bridge of her nose. "Ai ya..."

Rae Overholt: Kept the real things around. Kept telling him the digital ones took up less space. Said he liked the smell.

Tristan Pennell sniffs

Rae Overholt smiles, thinking of Marcus.

Tristan Pennell: the smell is special

Rae Overholt: That's what he thought.

Tristan Pennell: He was right. What are you drinking Xing Li?

Xiao Li: 'Brina called it a "special house martini." Dunno what all's in it.

Tristan Pennell: that's you name ain't it...Xing Li.....I knew a companion named Xing Lee....she had black hair

Xiao Li: It's XIAO Li.

Tristan Pennell: Really?

Xiao Li: And I ain't no Companion.

Tristan Pennell: No I see that.

Xiao Li: I sure hope so.

Tristan Pennell: so...not a companion....I can't afford that anyway. When can I see Raven? When are we heading off? When do I get paid?

Rae Overholt: You get paid when we get a job, till then you get room and board.

Tristan Pennell: Board is good.

Rae Overholt: You can see the Raven whenever you want.

Tristan Pennell: Who's room? Xing Li?

Rae Overholt looks at Xiao Li out of the corner of her eye.

Xiao Li gives Tristan a death glare.

Tristan Pennell looks inocent. “Was it something I said?”

Xiao Li stands up. "I'm goin' back to the ship. To my own, personal, *private* bunk."

Rae Overholt: Why dont you give Tristan a tour?

Tristan Pennell chuckles

Xiao Li: NO.

Rae Overholt: Why not?

Tristan Pennell: its ok Captain. I've seen the bugs insides before...or at least A bugs insides.

Xiao Li: Do I have to draw you a diagram, Cap'n?

Rae Overholt: I'm not gonna let him mess with you Xiao Li. You oughta know that by now. *she glares at Xiao Li*

Xiao Li stomps off, muttering under her breath

Tristan Pennell: night Xing Li! She seems nice, for a pilot.

Rae Overholt snorts

First loves..

So, I hadn't been on ship very long when things started developing.. my first love, and the first time I'd found another girl I liked who also liked me.. and liked girls.. Shen, our resident ship's cook (and apparently ninja assassin)..
This also led to me getting some of my first tastes of sex.. *mischevious giggle*

*****************

(Originally posted in the Washtown RP BLog)
First Post
Second Post
Sunday, Dec. 10, 2006
Young Romance..
Merasu Acropolis: HEY I'm up for dancing!!
Sabrina McGee: dancing?
Shay Jiutai: yeah dancin'!
Chung Jung: No, I ain't no mathematician... but it seems like there needs to be more mens for all ya'll ladies.
Gabriel Keats coughs
Shay Jiutai giggles
Chung Jung: Unless Keats pulls an extra shift.
Sabrina McGee: I think us womenfolk got it handled just fine, sir.
Sabrina McGee: Shen?
Chung Jung: I can't tell when you sit on those womanly bar stools.
Gabriel Keats: Well, then, Cap'n, shall we?
Shay Jiutai: we women folk can take care of ourselves...
Merasu Acropolis: Yes we shall
Gabriel Keats: Ladie's choice of dance. ::gestures::
Merasu Acropolis: well, you KNOW my choice
Chung Jung: The Lambada?
Shay Jiutai: not this dance again!!!
Sabrina McGee: We can waltz, then..
Merasu Acropolis: (to Gabe) Is that your gun poking me?
Sabrina McGee: Or you can pick..
Jadi Goodliffe: Looks to be about -that- time of night, then.
Gabriel Keats: Yes...sorry...do you want me to remove it?
Merasu Acropolis: As long as it doesnt go off accidentally its fine.
Gabriel Keats: I'm always in control of my weapon
Merasu Acropolis: That's a good quality in a mercenary.
Sabrina McGee: So.. Shen..
Shay Jiutai: (to Sabrina) you like holdin' me like this... don't ya... yes?
Sabrina McGee: Yes, I do.. do you like dancing with me?
Gabriel Keats: So. . .
Shay Jiutai: always...
Gabriel Keats grins. "This is getting to be a bit of a tradition"
Shay Jiutai giggles
Sabrina McGee: So.. how's about we make this official then?
Shay Jiutai: what's that?
Gabriel Keats: Can't say I mind.
Sabrina McGee: Well.. you flirt.. and you dance.. I dunno.. thought.. maybe.. you might like to be my girlfriend..
Sabrina McGee looks down and blushes..
Shay Jiutai steps closer...
Shay Jiutai takes Sabrina's hand
Shay Jiutai puts a hand on Sabrina's chin and pulls her face closer...
Sabrina McGee whispers quietly.. "I've never had a girlfriend before..nobody here is like that.."
Shay Jiutai gently kisses Sabrina...
Shay Jiutai grins at Sabrina
Sabrina McGee puts her arms around Shen..
Shay Jiutai kisses Sabrina again...
Shay Jiutai giggles
Sabrina gives Shay a big hug.
Sabrina McGee: Is that a yes?
Cabridges Fanwood shouts: Stop breaking into my warehouse!

Shay Jiutai: I guess so...
Sabrina McGee: You -guess- so??
Sabrina McGee mock glares..
Shay Jiutai: What do you think?
Shay Jiutai kisses Sabrina again
Sabrina McGee: I'd say you'd be crazy to say no..
Shay Jiutai: Capt'n What do you think about shipboard romances?
Shay Jiutai: Captn?
Shay Jiutai: we gonna get flack from you?
Sabrina McGee takes Shen's hand lightly
Shay Jiutai: c'mon S... let's go sit by the fire...

Shay Jiutai: so, honey... what does a small town girl like you expect from the 'verse?
Shay Jiutai: you got high hopes, right?
Sabrina McGee: I just wanna get off this luh se dustball..
Sabrina McGee: wanna see the pretty lights of the core.. the fancy parties.. the pretty clothes..
Sabrina McGee: wanted to find the love of my life there..
Sabrina McGee: 'cos I sure wasn't gonna find her here on this godforsaken place..
Sabrina McGee: momma and poppa didn't understand why I didn't want to get hitched to some rancher and have a passle of young'uns..
Sabrina McGee: I mean, they're okay and all.. but.. they're not..
Sabrina McGee: they didn't think it was right that liked looking at the girls in school and not the boys.. but no matter how hard I tried.. I just couldn't like boys as much as girls..
Sabrina McGee: I never thought I'd meet such a beautiful and exotic person here.. that's why I wanted to get away..
Sabrina McGee: that and avoid momma and poppa's disappointment.. and avoid any guilt or attempts to force me into something I don't want..
Shay Jiutai: makes sense...
Shay Jiutai: you don't take to companions much...
Shay Jiutai: why?
Sabrina McGee: haven't seen too many around here..
Sabrina McGee: I mean, I like 'em an all..
Shay Jiutai: there was one in the bar tonight...
Sabrina McGee: there was?
Sabrina McGee: I didn't notice..
Shay Jiutai: when we came back
Shay Jiutai: so, me bein' a killer doesn't bother you?
Sabrina McGee: companions can't give their love away..
Sabrina McGee: they're never truly free or open.. there's always some sort of angle.. or hidden truth..
Sabrina McGee: well, so long as the only killin' is at Cap'ns request or to protect the crew..
Shay Jiutai: don't woory on that score...
Sabrina McGee: past is past.. can't hold it against ya for things I wasn't part of.
Sabrina McGee: 'taint fair.
Shay Jiutai: but hidden truths are somethin' ya can't tolerate?
Sabrina McGee: hidden truths about love
Shay Jiutai: ah
Sabrina McGee: if I give my heart to you, I give it completely.. freely.. no conditions.. no, "if you love me, you'll do this.."
Sabrina McGee: companions are too.. guarded.. with their emotions.. I don't think they ever truly -enjoy- anything they do. LIfe to them is just one business transaction after another..
Sabrina McGee: if you get paid to tell people what they want to hear.. how can I ever be sure that what you're telling me is the truth? Even if I'm not paying?
Shay Jiutai: makes sense...
Sabrina McGee: you.. I suppose you got paid to tell people what they -didn't- want to hear..
Sabrina McGee: but there's an honesty in that..
Shay Jiutai: I only kill for passion and honor... oh yes also for money or war...
Sabrina McGee leans down and nuzzles your neck..
Sabrina McGee: enough talk about killing.. okay?
Shay Jiutai: fair enough
Shay Jiutai nuzzles back
Sabrina McGee: So.. what do you want outta life? What's a girl like you see in some bumpkin like me?
Sabrina McGee: I mean.. you must've spent time in the core.. the pretty places..
Shay Jiutai: ya ain't no bumpkin!
Sabrina McGee: the beautiful women..
Shay Jiutai: you are just as purty as any one a them fancy ladies in alla their finery...
Shay Jiutai: Lace and purfume don't make beauty...
Shay Jiutai: it's who you are
Shay Jiutai: how ya treat them's what's around ya...
Sabrina McGee: but I'm all greasy and dirty.. and my clothes aren't pretty..
Shay Jiutai: your smile is as beautiful as anything in the 'verse...
Shay Jiutai: tell me about what you believe in...
Sabrina McGee blushes..
Sabrina McGee: I don't really know what I believe in..
Sabrina McGee: I mean, I believe in a finely tuned engine.. and that I can get it runnin'.. I believe that people can be mean and scary.. and good too, depending on how they wanna be.. and I believe that there's beautiful things to see out there in the 'verse..
Sabrina McGee: I believe in the freedom to live your life how you wanna live it.. without interference.. from governments or religion.. or anyone else who thinks they gotta right over you.. and I believe in love.
Sabrina McGee: Do you believe in love, Shen?
Shay Jiutai: I've loved before...
Shay Jiutai: and lost them...
Shay Jiutai: in the most horrible way you can imagine...
Shay Jiutai: It may be difficult for me to fully give myself again... but I would want to for you...
Shay Jiutai: you make me want to do just about anything...
Sabrina McGee: I hope you can..
Sabrina McGee: because I'd love for you to give yourself to me.. and me to you..
Shay Jiutai: I'd take care of you...
Shay Jiutai: I won't let any harm come to you...
Sabrina McGee smiles..
Sabrina McGee: I love the sentiment.. but I do have to smile at the humor in it too.. :)
Shay Jiutai: how so?
Sabrina McGee: you have to admit.. there's an inherent amusement factor that I'm so much taller than you, and yet, you can probably outgun anyone around..
Shay Jiutai: well, there is that...
Shay Jiutai giggles
Sabrina McGee: I'm going to absolutely love the first time you stand up in front of me.. and the other guy is gonna be like, "What? What's she gonna do?"
Shay Jiutai: heehee...
Shay Jiutai gives Sabrina a sloppy wet french kiss
Sabrina McGee arches a brow but returns the kiss..
Sabrina McGee: Not quite what I had in mind, but it'll do.. ;)
[FADE TO BLACK]

So, umm.. history.. past..

This is me. This is where I started out.. This is kind of a resume I had to put together when I first hired on the Raven. What's the Raven? Well, you'll find out more later, but the Raven was my baby. She was what gave me freedom, a rickety old firefly class ship that I loved more than any man, woman, or child. She was my home, my sanctuary, my salvation. Anyways, this is how it all starts....

********************

Sabrina's in her mid 20's (looks 23 or so..) And has spent most of her formative years growing up on this rock. (Washtown's then-unnamed moon) Her father was a "Craft brewer.." (moonshiner) who supplied many of the border and rim worlds with alcohol and mudder's milk. Blue Sun and the Alliance didn't much care for this when Sabrina was a wee babe, which led to the family picking up and moving about a lot. Finally, the Alliance attention faded away some, at least enough to make a homestead at Washtown.

As she grew, she showed interest in the local rancher's machinery, as well as her father's brewing equipment. In time, she learned she had a natural aptitude for fixing things that broke down. She read as much as she could, technical journals, books, anything she could get her hands on. Unfortunately, reading material is scarce out this far of the 'verse. She's seen some travel magazines, and she longs to see the beauty of the core worlds. Sabrina has a lot of wanderlust, and wants to travel, see the sights, meet new people.. She's a romantic at heart. Also, well.. some of the ranchers around here and her folks don't necessarily like the fact that Sabrina really doesn't wanna settle down with any of the local boys. Or with any boy for that matter. So she wants to leave, and they don't necessarily pine to see her stay.

Which brings her to wanting to get off world. Hence, trying to find work on a ship.

*************************

So, yeah.. that's how it all started. Strange to think that me likin' girls was such a scandal back then. It's been about 2 years then. I'm gettin' closer to 30 now, and much of what seemed so strange and shocking then is now so incredibly commonplace. *laughing*

So, as it turned out, the owners of the local bar in Washtown acquired a firefly, Raven.. and needed a crew to make runs for them. They hired a Captain, Rae Overholt, who is still captaining, as far as I know, and I was hired on as ship's mechanic and all-around wrench. We had some other guys, Gabe Keats, Lexi, Xiao Li our pilot, Rio our ship's Doctor, Elsbeth, Kevin.. Jadi Goodliffe was the liason between our crew and the owners of the bar and sent us out on jobs.

Turns out there was some behind-the-scenes stuff happening there, and we mutinied. Took the ship over. Eventually, I think Rae managed to basically buy the ship out from the Washtown folks. We still worked for them at times, but the ship was ours and we could choose which jobs to take.

So we took jobs, and things were good for a while. We had another crew member, too.. Shen. But that's a looong story for another post.

Okay, First Post..

Nack and some of the other folks keep asking me if I've got some sort of diary or place I keep a history of my life, and, well, I hadn't really thought much about it.

But since all the folks at the bar keep pestering me about it, I guess I'll try and come up with something.. if nothing else than to have something more than a few gadgets and photographs to mark my passin' in this verse.

Dunno how frequent it'll be, and I dunno what all I'll write about, but maybe I'll start by telling y'all where I come from. Begin at the beginning, right?

It's gonna take me some time to put it all together and sort everything out, but I guess I'll have some storytellin' for y'all soon enough.